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Oppressing Ladies the Old-Fashioned Way --

Shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich, bitch.

10/10/04 04:46 pm - khmer_rouge

Today, in reading Rousseau's Émile, I came across this passage:

"It is, therefore, important to cultivate a faculty which serves as judge between the two guides, which does not permit conscience to go astray and corrects the errors of prejudice. That faculty is reason. But what a crowd of questions arise at this word. Are women capable of solid reason; should they cultivate it, can they cultivate it successfully? Is this culture useful in relation to the functions laid upon them? Is it compatible with becoming simplicity?"

The answer to these questions, my good friends, is an inherent no.

10/7/04 04:53 pm - khmer_rouge - presidentiality & how to teach your lady a lesson

The presidential election is coming up soon. Be sure to keep your women from voting by locking them in their kitchens and/or boudoirs. Remember, they have no real opinions. They only want free make-up and shoe sales.

10/5/04 12:07 am - fimbaz - The Undoubted Prelude

Mr. Fox Grapes Guy here, your prolific and enigmatic comrade in misogyny. Let me kick off my metaphorical shoes and see what comes to mind.

I understand we have a woman in the audience tonight. If anybody is missing a woman, check at the desk after the show. The management would forcibly remove her now, but she'll cause less trouble if she sits quietly-- and, come on-- who wants to entertain a woman for two hours? Not the management, that's for sure. I kid, guys, I kid. I'm sure you the fine people who run this place would be happy to take care of her-- they have janitors for a reason! No reason to cause a commotion though. It has been agreed that she be allowed in for the duration, assuming she can keep herself from doing anything messy and biological, like giving birth or something.

That aside, we've got some great acts lined up for you tonight. An educational one act is being put on by the local Men's Acting Guild, entitled "Original Sin: Eve of Vice" which I understand is a retelling of that classic bible tale with which we are all familiar. And, of course, our headline act, the Pipes, Hats, And Acrobats Fellows are here to regale you with their inimitable blend of tossing, tumbling, smoking, and style (pause for applause). But before our show begins, permit me to set the mood with a short historical essay-- first in a series of five. I hope it reminds us all why were are here in this room tonight.

As long as there has been Man, there has been woman. In the beginning, when the first man set foot upon the earth, the first woman was also there, menstruating or whining about something. When the first man discovered fire, precious gift from the Gods, the first woman was there to fearfully stamp it out. When he drew upon the walls, she was there to scrub them clean, and yell at him for messing up the cave. When he first hunted game, she was there to complain about how cold and stringy the meat was, which lead to the only useful womanly invention in history: Cooking.

Where Men banded together, so too did women. When the first cities were formed, women were there to make sure they were full of sin and corruption. It is no coincidence that "the oldest profession" is the womanly art of tempting men into vice. Woman and vice have gone hand and hand since then. Indeed, it is widely theorized that were it not for woman, man would live today in peace and harmony, without need for money or weapons. Ancient man saw this, and attempted to fix the problem by controlling women. For century upon golden century, women were held as possessions-- tradable goods without rights or votes. Successive generations of Men saw the wisdom of their forbears, and these wise ways flourished for thousands of years. But Mankind, forgetting the devious ways of women, and growing lazy after so many centuries of thriving success, forgot the reasons why he kept women in their place, and so allowed the Great Betrayal to occur.

Next show: Women's sufferage
(waits for applause to ebb)

Thank you, gentlemen! The Men's Acting Guild is on next-- let's give them a welcome as befits their status as the only remaining acting guild on this continent that continues to withold female membership!

(Exits, lights dim, orchestra begins playing dirge, man wearing women's clothing enters stage.)

9/28/04 10:18 pm - mighty_meelor

I hear if you date-rape women with short-term memory loss, no one will find out.

It's not like its wrong, because they probably can't remember how to make a good steak and are therefore worthless

9/26/04 02:56 pm - khmer_rouge

What's the difference between matricide & patricide?

Well, you see, patricide is murder.

9/25/04 01:07 am - joey_is_ghey

So last night my wife came home from the market and began reading out of some liberal-left pamphlet that someone gave her. She was going on about women's rights and that appearantly there was some ammendment passed way back in the 1920's or something that says I can't keep her in a cage anymore. Seriously, who the hell cares about some crummy old law anyways? If I want to keep my wife in my cage and take her out to give me oral sex or make me steak that is my God-given right, it says so in the Bible. She is my property and I can do with her whatever I please.

But anyhow, she starts talking about how she deserves rights and I can't keep her in a cage so I broke her jaw with a swift punch and then made her pleasure me and make me some meat. After pleasuring me for a second time I was so tired that I fell asleep on the ground. She called one of her friend's whose no good-husband lets her roam free in the house and she got the police. Now I have to face trials because appearantly, in this free society, doing what you please with your PROPERTY is wrong. I thought we lived in America, not Canada.

This goes to show how week and stupid women are, a man would read this left wing political pamphlet and recognize that it is bullshit. A weak-headed women reads it and thinks it is a good idea for them to have rights. Now, because of the liberal media, I am facing trial. I wonder if anyone in that courtroom has read the Bible, which states that I may beat my wife because she is the lesser gender.

What an age we live in! The real criminal is my wife for independently thinking.

9/24/04 06:22 pm - arturo_danger

Greetings, sers!

It is my most treasured pleasure to welcome you to this humble community.

Our good host, a certain esteemed Mr. Franktrot, is not available at the moment, so here I am in his place to make sure your stay is most enjoyable.

You are here for the Misogyny, no doubt, and you shall have it, for it is free to all (as are our assorted wines and cheeses)!

Relax your rump, take a cigar, and do enjoy your stay!
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